He was playing pool and drinking beer
Nothing more'n the occasional tear
But this man's life goes on
He gets greased all over from time to time
At the strip joint, where we met
He said: "Hi! My name is Ted
See that one over there, that ball of thunder?
Every time she goes Vavoom, I wiggle in my chair
Eh oh can I buy you a beer?"
Erh what a guy!

"Well I've had a few myself" he said
"But I never quit when I'm ahead
Too many rules and regulations, stupid laws designed by fools behind closed doors
And another thing I won't discuss is religion, it always causes a fight"
Vavoom
"There she goes again"
Huh ah how does she do that, Ted?

Yeah! Aaaah haah!

And he told me of those injustices that he had suffered in his life
His wife and kids and boss and dogs and neighbours raising cain and causing strife
They were forever whining, bleating, howling, yapping, screeching, moaning, crying
Vavoom
He fed them well
Aaaah he keep them warm
Ted - Ted the Mechanic

Thing about Ted, didn't really care
Nothing much got in his hair
The beauty of it was that he was right
He was big as a truck, fast as a door (what's that?)
He was always right
The banjo player took a hike
And what's that song I used to like
Vavoom
Big as a truck
Uh he was fast as a door
Ted - What a guy!
Mmm top man, our Ted
Top man, our Ted
Top man, our Ted

There once was a woman
A strange kind of woman
The kind that gets written down in history
Her name was Nancy
Her face was nothing fancy
She left a trail of happiness and misery

I loved her
Everybody loved her
She loved everyone and gave them good return
I tried to take her
I even tried to break her
She said I ain't for takin' won't you ever learn

I want you I need you I gotta be near you
I spent my money as I took my turn
I want you I need you I gotta be near you
Ooh I got a strange kind of woman

She looked like a raver
But I could never please her
On Wednesday mornings boy you can't go far
I couldn't get her
But things got better--she said
Saturday nights from now on baby you're my star

She finally said she loved me
I wed her in a hurry
No more callers and I glowed with pride
I'm dreaming
I feel like screaming
I won my woman just before she died

I want you I need you I gotta be near you
I spent my money as I took my turn
I want you I need you I gotta be near you
Ooh I had a strange kind of woman

Gotta black breast Chinese eyes
Got an English brain that's gonna make me wise
Got a long story that I wanna tell
To a rhythm that I know so well
Really got a lot of lovin' that I wanna give
Baby I'm a mystery but you know I gotta live
I tried another but she didn't want to know

Take a hold now if you can
Take a lesson from a hard lovin' man
I'm a long way from where I wanna go
Guess I'll stay awhile I really love you so
How's about another sip of all the wine you got
Take a tip from me and give it here I'll drink the lot
I'm not a winey, I'm a puttin' on a show

You really really grab me but I've gotta move
Before they know I'm here and spread the news
Maybe in while when I've moved around
I can find a way to pay you back your twenty pounds
Really got a lot of lovin' that I wanna give
Baby I'm a mystery but you know I gotta live
I tried another but she didn't want to know

Somebody's shouting up at a mountain
Only my own words return
Nobody's up there, it's a deception
When will I ever learn?

I'm alone here with emptiness, eagles and snow
Unfriendliness chilling my body
And whispering pictures of home

Wondering blindly, how can they find me?
Maybe they don't even know
My body is shaking, anticipating
The call of the black footed crow-ouh

I'm alone here with emptiness, eagles and snow
Unfriendliness chilling my body
And taunting with pictures of home

Here in this prison of my own making
Year after day I have grown
Into a herobut there's no worship
Where have they hidden my throne-ouh?

I'm alone here with emptiness, eagles and snow
Unfriendliness chilling my body
And screaming out pictures of home

Well, I know you're the only one that understands
Afore ye go, before you leave
You always shake my hand
Even when I'm crazy
On fire and naked
Just as Nature intended
No style and easily blended

You always know where I'll be found
I'm hanging somewhere near the ground
Help me up or help me down

Don't want to lose those days
When everything is just a haze
I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming

I believe I could walk before I learned to crawl
And when I look up, the Devil's looking back
From the mirror on the wall
You can open the door
I got my feet stuck to the floor
I may have lost my way
But I didn't get where I am today

You always know where I'll be found
I'm hanging somewhere near the ground
Help me up or help me down

Don't want to lose those days
When everything is just a haze
I'm dreaming

You spin into my empty room
And once again I'm almost human
Almost human

You always know where I'll be found
I'm hanging somewhere near the ground
Help me up or help me down

Don't want to lose those days
When everything is just a haze
I'm dreaming

You spin into my empty room
And once again I'm almost human
Almost human

Fly into the rising sun,
Faces, smiling everyone
Yeah, she is a whole new tradition
I feel it in my heart

My woman from Tokyo
She makes me see
My woman from Tokyo
She's so good to me

Talk about her like a Queen
Dancing in a Eastern Dream
Yeah, she makes me feel like a river
That carries me away

My woman from Tokyo
She makes me see
My woman from Tokyo
She's so good to me

But I'm at home and I just don't belong ...

So far away from the garden we love
She is what moves in the soul of a dove
Soon I shall see just how black was my night
When we're alone in Her City of light

Rising from the neon gloom
Shining like a crazy moon
Yeah, she turns me on like a fire
I get high

My woman from Tokyo
She makes me see
My woman from Tokyo
She's so good to me

I sit here alone
I sit here alone
I look at the walls
Look at the walls
Look at the walls
I look at the walls

You shouldn't be out on your own
Oh no, not with a condition like that
Oh no, sir, constant care
A condition like that, a condition so rare
A penny for the guy, a penny for your thoughts
One a penny, two a penny, penny in your pocket
Ding dong bell, who can tell
Wild Man Fisher got nothing on me

I sit by the water
I sit by the water
Watch it go by
I'm watching the sky
Clouds going by
I'm watching the sky

I left my luggage at the station
Didn't know how to say goodbye
I walked away from all the fury and the madness
And the fury and the madness
And the fury and the madness
Woaah

I smile to myself
I smile to myself

You're on the blind side, I'm on the other side
Now I'm on the outside looking for another side
Upside down side, I'm still lucid
Maybe crazy but I'm not stupid
Try to get out, the parking lot's full
No matter, no matter
What's a man going to do?
One two buckle my shoe
Zip my lip

The golden light about you show me where you're from
The magic in your eye bewitches all you gaze upon
You stand up on your hill and behop all around you
They wonder where you're from oh yeah
They wonder where I found you
Oh my love it's a long way
Where you're from it's a long way

I tried to understand you, I tried to love you right
The way you smile and touch me always sets my heart alight
Your lips are like a fire burning through my soul
And people ask me where you're from
They really wanna know
Oh my soul it's a long way
Where you're from it's a long way

Magic woman wreckin' up my soul
Things you tell me have never been told
Magic woman I don't know
Electric before me I love you so I love you so

You're racing like a fireball dancing like a ghost
You're gemini and I don't know which one I like the most
My head is getting broken and my mind is getting bust
But now I'm coming with you down the road of golden dust
Oh my love it's a long way
Where you're from it's a long way

While you were out... the message says
You left a number an' I tried to call
But they wrote it down in a perfect Spanish scrawl
Perfect Spanish scrawl

Yet again, I'm missing you
King size bed in a hotel someplace
I hear your name, I see your face
I see your face

Yeah...
Back street dolls and the side door Johnnies
Wide eyed boys with their bags full of money
Back in the alley going bang to the wall
Tied to the tail of a midnight crawl
Heaven wouldn't be so high, I know
If the times gone by hadn't been so low
Best laid plans come apart at the seams
Shatter all my dreams

Sometimes I feel like screaming, close my eyes
It's times like this my head goes down
The only thing I know is the name of this town
Name of this town

Yet again, I'm missing you
Won't be long, I'm coming home
'Til that distant time, I'll be moving on
I'll be moving on

Back street dolls and the side door Johnnies
And the wide eyed boys with their bags full of money
Back in the alley going bang to the wall
Tied to the tail of a midnight crawl
Heaven wouldn't be so high, I know
If the times gone by hadn't been so low
Best laid plans come apart at the seams
Shatter my dreams

It's all in the mind
Ouh it's all in the mind
It's all in the mind
It's all in the mind
Ouh

Back street dolls and the side door Johnnies
   It's all in the mind
Wide eyed boys with their bags full of money
Back in the alley going bang to the wall
   Aaah...
Tied to the tail of a midnight crawl
Heaven wouldn't be so high, I know
   All in the mind
If the times gone by hadn't been so low
Best laid plans come apart at the seams
   Aaah...
Shatter my dreams

   --- instrumental ---